Hey don’t knock Super Probotector. I liked that you played as robots! I thought they looked cool. I had no idea that this game was a sequel to Contra, which was called Gryzor over here.

Man. There are so many incredibly moments in this game.

The bit where you’re in the air hanging off a missile attached a helicopter and then the helicopter fires you off and you jump from missile to missile while in the air, so there must have been like a billion helicopters behind you all firing missiles at the end of level boss and you’re all Keanuing from missile to missile!

The bit where you’re on motorbikes and just crushing everything in your path because you’re super cool robots with infinite homing missiles and you’re on motorbikes!

The bit where the music goes quiet and you hear this THUD and then these giant claws come out and rip the background out and there’s this giant robot head you have to shoot!

The bit where you finish a level and then you see this map and then the camera goes ZOOOOOOOM and you’re playing this fantastic Mode 7 level and it’s incredible and you’re happy you bought a Super Nintendo!

The bit where you’re standing on a platform and then this plane comes out of nowhere and drops some bombs and then EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE GOD DAMN DO I LOVE THIS GAME.